雅思口语满分范文披露

2017-01-24 13:41:41   Tag:

学英语口语

 

雅思英语

 
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雅思口语满分范文披露: The most precious thing in my life is a watch. The watch is neither expensive nor sophisticated. Many people may think the old watch is not worthy of a single peek but it is so meaningful to me that I cannot get rid of it.

雅思口语满分范文披露

学生版:(中式英语严重)如果是雅思口语考试分数为6.5 托福为22分


    The most precious thing in my life is a watch. The watch is not expensive nor delicate. Many people may think that the old watch is not worthy (这里缺少一个介词 of)a single peek but it is full of means for me that I cannot get rid of it. The watch is the last present which my grandfather gave me. He told me that I should treasure the days when I got along with him because his life was limited. He passed me with the watch and the tears dropped down from his eyes. About two weeks, my grandpa was sent to the intensive care unit for heart attack. Before a very long, he passed away. From the moment on, I’ve cherished the memories of my grandfather by this old watch. When I see the watch, I miss my grandfather.


评语:多为用词、语法及英语的习惯用法不对!



修改版:(划线部分为修改后部分,学生们可以前后对照)


    The most precious thing in my life is a watch. The watch is neither expensive nor sophisticated. Many people may think the old watch is not worthy of a single peek but it is so meaningful to me that I cannot get rid of it. The watch is the last present that my grandpa gave me. He told me that I should treasure the days when I was with him because his life was limited. When he handed me his watch, his tears rolled down from his cheeks. About two weeks later, my grandpa was sent to the intensive care unit of a nearby hospital for a heart attack. Before long, he passed away. Since then, I’ve cherished the memories of my grandfather. When I see the watch, I miss my grandfather.


(以上只是在用词、语法及英语的习惯用法上做修正,但还是存在严重的问题:英美人说话不是这么说的;因此,我根据学生的思路另外写了一篇答案方便学生们学习)



Andy老师口语满分版(依据学生思路所写的答案)


   The most precious thing in my life is a watch. It is not an expensive one nor does it have sophisticated workmanship. This old watch is by no means eye-catching but means a great deal to me. In fact, this watch is a present my grandfather gave me years ago. He was a very caring old man who loved me so much that he decided to give me this watch he had been wearing for almost fifty years. His health was failing so he hoped that this watch to remind me of all the happy days I had spent with him. Two weeks later, grandpa’s health deteriorated so dad and I rushed him to the nearby hospital. But it was too late. Grandpa was very weak but he still managed to hold my hand looking at the watch I was wearing. He smiled and passed away in peace. By now, you can tell why I treasure this watch so much. 


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