外国人最好不碰的中国传统

2011-04-23 10:50:50   Tag:

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中国人的传统节日--春节即将到来,大街小巷都开始散发着一股传统的“中国味儿”。对外国朋友们来说,这种节日自然是学习中华文化、融入中国家庭的绝佳机会。但是,中国人又怎么看待这些啃着鸡爪子、叫嚷着放鞭炮(setting off firecrackers)的外国人呢?


Now, listen up, you foreigner boys and girls, Chinese New Year is around the corner and I want to talk to you seriously about fireworks.
外国朋友们,现在请注意:中国的春节就要来了。在这里,我想严肃地和你们说说烟花爆竹的事情。

I saw this picture in a newspaper, where a smiling, cordial Chinese girl (rather pretty as well) was explaining the tradition of lighting fireworks to a group of foreign guys. They all looked very happy.
我曾在报纸上看到这样一幅图:一个面带微笑的中国女孩(很可爱)兴奋地为一群外国小伙子详解中国燃放烟花爆竹的传统。他们看上去都挺开心。


I will let you know that is false information. Fireworks are no small matter, and no laughing matter either. So wipe that smirk off your face and listen up.
今天我想让你明白,那是个错误的信息。烟花爆竹可不是小事,不能拿来开玩笑。因此,请别傻笑了,认真听好。


As a Chinese, I want to be honest with you. For the past 30 years, we have opened up to the West, and welcomed foreigners like yourselves to come here to do business, to make money, even gave you some easy credit to let you buy real estate, marry our women, whatever. But this does not make you Chinese. There are things we reserve for ourselves, and it really doesn`t matter how long you have been here, just don`t assume you can be one of us, and don`t touch the following three things:
作为一名中国人,我想要对你诚实。在过去的30年里,我们向西方国家敞开大门,欢迎像你们一样的外国人来此经商、赚钱,甚至放松信贷允许你们购买不动产,迎娶中国女性等等。但这些并不表示你成为了一名中国人。有些事儿是咱们特有的,不管你们老外在中国待了多久都不顶用。别以为你们能真正成为我们的一份子,以下三样东西可免沾贵手:


CHICKEN FEET, SEA CUCUMBERS AND FIRECRACKERS!
凤爪,海参还有炮竹


Most of you are well trained enough to withhold your chopsticks, whichever way you are holding them, and stay away from the chicken feet at Chinese dim sum restaurants. But some of you are show-offs. Most of the time, you are trying to prove to your Chinese girlfriend`s parents that you are so Chinese. "Look, I am eating chicken feet. Mmm ... Good!"
你们中的大多数都能熟练使用筷子。但是,不管你们怎么拿筷子都请不要碰中餐馆里的鸡爪子。然而,还是有人喜欢炫耀。大多数时候,你想向女友家人证明你有多么“中国化”。“看,我在吃鸡爪子。嗯~~~好香!”


Don`t do that. We really get annoyed when foreigners try to chomp on chicken feet. Sometimes, you are so polite, you don`t spit out the bones, you chew them and try to swallow them. That`s totally unacceptable. Because, when you do that, most Chinese start getting anxious about you choking to death on the damn chicken bones. And it is very difficult to enjoy dim sum when you are anxious.
千万别这么做!我们真的很讨厌外国人咬鸡爪子时的样子。通常,出于礼貌考虑,你不会吐出骨头,而是反复咀嚼试图将骨头咽下去。这完全让人无法接受。因为,当你这么做的时候,多数中国人开始担心你会被这些该死的鸡骨头哽死。而人们根本无法在忧虑中享受中式点心。


Sea cucumbers are not for you either. Most of you are rather intimidated by slimy sea things - jelly fish, sea cucumbers. But, there are those of you who are so brave that you insist on trying it, and pretend to enjoy it. Most of the time, you are a foreign businessman, you don`t want to offend your Chinese host by not eating the most expensive dish ordered.
海参同样不适合你。大多数外国人都对粘滑的海产品感到恐惧--例如海蜇、海参等。但是,也不乏勇敢之人坚持尝试,并装作很享受的样子。多数时候,这种事情发生在外国商人身上:他们不想因为拒绝享用最贵的食物而得罪了中国的东道主。


I`ve got some news for you. Guess what? He didn`t order it for you! He ordered it for the Chinese at the table! Do you know how difficult it is to soak the sea cucumber? No one can master it in his own kitchen. Only the restaurants can. So stop trying to pick up the sea cucumber with your chopsticks, it will probably end up in your lap anyway. Just politely put the untouched dish back on the lazy susan. We are not impressed by sea cucumber chivalry.
这里,我要透露点信息给你。你猜怎么着?这些都不是为你点的,是为同桌的其他中国人点的!你知道要发好海参有多难么?没有人能在自己家中烹饪海参,只有在餐厅才能吃到。因此,别用你的筷子夹海参了,因为它到头来很可能就只被堆在你的大腿上。你只要礼貌性地将没碰过的海参放回旋转餐桌即可。我们并不会被海参骑士精神所感动。


Now fireworks. It is strictly, strictly for us Chinese. We really don`t want you anywhere near fireworks. First of all, it is dangerous. You don`t understand why 1.4 billion people have to turn into pyromaniacs for one night. It`s totally beyond your comprehension. But we love it; we have been setting off these things since we were three and for 5,000 years. On the other hand, we Chinese have great tolerance for fireworks; it`s one night when you can do some damage and get away with it. For example, you can burn a building down, a brand new building, with stuff in it. How can you comprehend that level of generosity?
接下来我们来说说烟花。这是完全属于中国人的。我们真的不想让你们接近它。首先,这很危险。你不会理解为什么14亿中国人在一夜间都成了“放火狂”。这的确超出你的理解。但我们喜欢烟花,我们从3岁起就开始放烟花,这传统已经流传了5000多年。另一方面,中国人对烟花有很强的忍耐力。那天晚上,即使你毁坏了事物也能逃避惩罚。例如,你可能烧毁了一栋大楼,一栋全新的大楼,里面甚至还有员工。这种水平的“豁达”你又怎能理解?


And, don`t you dare try to do the same, we simply have no tolerance for it. You try to burn a building down, we will kill you, because, you were probably high, and we really don`t give a hoot whether you are mentally disturbed or whether your prime minister is going to make endless harassing phone calls.
而你却不敢做这样的事,我们也不能容忍这样的事情发生。不过要是老外你胆敢烧掉一幢楼,我们可要把你干掉,不管你说你是脑子不好还是到时候你们首相电话来骚扰。


So, you better be good, you better be nice, because firecrackers are coming to town!
因此,你最好老实待着,因为人们要到城镇放烟花了!

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